Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Let's Get Real...Men aren't the enemy.

Let's Get Real...Men aren't the enemy.

It seems like after the holidays my friends that didn't get that ring they desired have their family and other friends saying things like "I can't believe he didn't ask her to marry him after everything she put up with". That really bothers me. What you're about to hear is not the sound of your biological clock tick, but rather some thought provoking ideas I have.

If a man disrespects you, it's only his fault the first time. But the second, third and fourth--well, that's just your own fault. Is that too harsh? I hope not. Come on ladies, let's put on our big girl panties and talk candidly.

Yes, it's true that love makes you do crazy things like continually go back to a bad situation. Believe me, I've done it...and I don't want to ever do it again. I just hate hearing it's the guy's fault that she "puts up with" less than desirable behavior in her most intimate relationship.

Think about it. What does it say about how we feel about us when we allow ourselves to be treated in a way that is disrespectful...over and over and over? It says we're not where we need to be to accept love in the first place. Come on, we hear it all the time. We need to first love who(besides your creator)?? OURSELVES. So I'm just asking all you beautiful, strong, smart women to take an honest look at who you are and what work needs to be done on your end...and DO IT because you deserve it. There is one constant in every relationship you have...YOU. Instead of always pointing the finger, how about seeing what you could do better? Maybe it's your choice in men(their lifestyle,etc). What does that say about you? Do the research on YOU.
Let's be clear, I know some people(not just men) are menaces to society and to the relationship. I just think that the only true thing we can change in current and future relationships is how WE act and react to situations.
Now, this doesn't mean I think you need to drop a guy you're with to "find yourself" because he put the toilet paper roll on the wrong way. If you're picking on your mate for things like that, you just need to get over yourself. Maybe next time you're feeling hurt(hold on, this is stellar advice) tell him it hurt your feelings--Wow, ground breaking huh?I simply believe in telling people how you feel. Especially your mate, and in a loving way. A negative attitude will only result in a negative reaction..and by the way, you love this man. Treat him with respect. If it continues, again remember you can only make change in yourself. For others, it's up to them.

You teach people how to treat you. Be a good teacher.


  1. Amen to that!! Well said Kris. Love your new blog :-)

  2. Men are like toilet paper. Neither should be recyled. If someone is recycling and gets "crapped on", it's her own fault.